The night sky was crystal clear. A few lazy clouds hung over the surrounding mountains but did not mask the crystalline sparkle of the stars. In the three weeks I had been in Costa Rica, I knew that a night like this was rare and presented a perfect opportunity to identify the constellations.
I grabbed the closest biodynamic calendar and flipped it open to a map of the October night sky. Trying to translate the Spanish text in my head, I turned to my colleague and asked him if he knew which way was north. He scrunched up his face, thinking. “Well, the sun rises from over here,” he said, pointing straight ahead, “So that’s east. That means that north this this way.” He turned and pointed towards the watchtower.
“Thanks!” I said, “I’m going to go try to find the constellations.”
My colleague smiled. “The watchtower is perfect for that. Let’s go!”
Preferring to go on my own but not wanting to be rude, I followed my Costa Rican friend up the 50-foot watchtower. We spent a few minutes staring at the stars, using his flashlight to illuminate the dark pages of the calendar.
He sat down on a hammock and patted the seat next to him. “Come, sit,” he said, “This is the best place to watch the stars.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I think its easier from the balcony, personally.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
I spent a few minutes attempting to find the constellations. Sighing, I sat next to my friend on the hammock. He put his arm around me. I thought about asking him to stop, but decided that I felt safe enough to sit like this for a short while. We chatted about the stars, and then to our friends and family. He seemed surprised when I said that I had dated a man - I suppose not many Ticas have short hair like mine - and asked if I also liked women because men are assholes. I told him that I liked women because they are sexy and only hate men who are sexist pigs. He laughed and pulled me a bit closer.
I sighed again. Normally it would be fun to watch the stars in such a romantic location, but my friend - although quite attractive - is married and has a child. I knew my colleague well enough to know that he was a flirt, but I did not know how far he would try to take things. I began thinking of ways that I could get him to back off without being unnecessarily rude.
As this thought crossed my mind, my colleague slipped his hand under my shirt and began rubbing my stomach. “You know, you Americans think that super skinny girls are the most attractive. Latino men know better. We like ladies with curves, with a sexy stomach and ass like you.”
I pushed his hand away. “Come on,” I said, “Stop it.”
He laughed and put his hand back on my stomach. “No, no, come on, flex your muscles for me! I want to see how strong you are.”
I grinned and flexed my stomach muscles. In doing so, I released a little fart right on his lap.
My colleague pulled his hand back and gasped before bursting into peals of laughter. I was already laughing so hard I could barely breathe.
I spent the rest of the evening blissfully alone, gazing deeply into the indigo sky.